I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
