My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
