I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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