Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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