dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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