You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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