it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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