eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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