the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
