Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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