Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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