it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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