new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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