We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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