His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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