My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
