I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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