The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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