You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
ugly people sure do ruin things
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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