first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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