just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
