She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
