i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
