She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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