we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
