I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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