So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
