so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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