Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
