Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize