Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
