No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
