We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
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why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
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My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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