You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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