google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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