Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
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my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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