i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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