Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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