WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
ttyl tear gas
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
