They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
