she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
