he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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