I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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