Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
