we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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