I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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