On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
