Will you blow on my dice?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
