This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
