why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
