she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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