We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
