what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
