dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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