i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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