was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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