good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
