i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
