I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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