dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
