And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
