found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
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Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
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did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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