I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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